Tag Archives: nigeria

How Did We Get Here? E-Tribal War.

Nigeria has a country has been going through a lot of challenges at the moment, which no one is proud of.
Is it the trouble from Boko Haram in the North? or the Militancy in the East? or the kidnapping and “Badooing” (if there is any word like that in existence.) In the West?  No where in Nigeria can be described to be perfectly save.

Despite these challenges, the Nigerian online community seems to be building up another kind of war, which is hatred for another ethnic group. It has gotten to stage that political post online can’t be viewed without sentiments rather than with  a lucid mind and this has led to people giving different solutions which usually turn to online bashing.
Imagine a post on the Notorious Kidnapper Evans, some tribe moved for the motion that he be killed immediately, others were of the opinion of since he didn’t kill anyone he should be released.
Another issue is this bickering can be found on known websites and forums like Facebook, Nairaland  etc. The funny aspect is that these E-fighters have given each tribe a name, Yoruba are called Brown roof or Afoja, Igbo are called Flat heads or IPOB while the Hausa/Fulani seems to be the odd one in these E-clashes as it is usually rare to find the Hausas having an ethnic clash online.

This is a call on everyone especially sites owners, bloggers, site adminstrators to look at a way to stop this online division and hatred. We are still trying to bring “a dividing Nigeria” together offline please don’t add online division to it.

When your debt is more than your revenue.

When your debt is more than your revenue.

I have always wished to acquire in life but things i know would satisfy me and at the same time not run me of my money, most people live there lives to impress others and as such deep their hands into debt beyond what they can carry,some Nigerians are so badly informed that you start to hear words like ” even Nigeria is in debt,then who am I?” they use this statement as a proof that their act is right but is it really right ?
Mind you to the professionals reading this am taking this case from an individual view.
Why will your debt be more than your revenue?
The major reason is due to our act of extravagance,”oh yes I want to prove a point,I want to show the world I have got this money” your ego pushes you to fall into debt which leads to alot of debts then you start running from pillar to post seeking succour,some at this stage start having high blood pressure and before you know it something else happens.
But How do I overcome this act of careless spending?
Some people always have this urge to buy whatever they see even if it is not useful,once they have the money they will buy,some will not even have the money but will go ahead to buy on credit. To stop this careless buying you can follow this procedures:
1. When you go out especially to a market,write down the things you want to buy and their expected amounts.
2. Do a rough calculation of the exact money you need and just add a little amount to be on the safer side.
3. When the urge to buy what is not on your list comes,bring out your list and recite what you want to buy,in that process you have toyed with your brain and as such made it lose focus on its earlier thought by the time you will raise your head your mind will lead you to the exact location to buy what you are suppose to buy.
4. And finally have a record,yes record of your daily spendings this will help you monitor what you have and what you don’t.I have written something about this creating your record in the past,check my previous updates.

Ten ways to win an Election in Nigeria setting.

Ten ways to win an Election in Nigeria setting.
Political candidates in Nigeria across every level go through alot to garner votes.

1. Discuss with the power that be to know if you are good to go, if they disapprove just “jejely” accept defeat and don’t go and start wasting money because you wouldn’t win but if they approve,you have won halfway.
2. Even if you are proud become humble, start doing things average Nigerians do, like buying meat at Sabo market, eat rice and stew at Iya Risi buka among others and remember to take your photographer along with you.
3. Have an online PR,yes this is the order of the day,Today Nigeria election can determine from the online community,so you have to employ a PR or a team of PRs to manage your online campaign(I can offer the service too o..)
4. Know your strongholds and be sure they are truly your strong holds so its doesn’t turn to be your weak holds on the main day.
5. Always have a punch line for any candidate that tries to fire you. follow the tactics fire for fire(note: only wordplay)
6. Never ever underestimate the other opponents.
7. There are no permanent friends or fiends but permanent interest therefore, don’t trust your friends too much and don’t push your fiends away.
8. Always have a plan B and let it be personal.
9. if you are good with propaganda by all means please use it.
10. Above all be prepared to gift out consumables to the public.

“Green White Green” the meaning.

Green White Green.

Only one country in the world uses these colours as its flag in this sequence,there is no country other than Nigeria. Tomorrow, 1st of October Nigeria will clock 56years,it is something to thank God for that the bond still “struggle” to exist despite the diversities. Moving away from the celebration I will be writing on the meaning of the flag colours what it depicts then and now.
Pa Taiwo Akinkunmi, the designer of the Nigeria flag must have come up with series of colour combinations before settling for Green and white, he must have seen that every part of Nigeria was into Agriculture, groundnut from the north,Cocoa from the west, palm oil from the south,all of this symbolizes that Nigeria was deeply rooted in agriculture,it was our revenue earner which means every part of Nigeria created it own revenue, Coming to present day Nigeria I believe the green colours on our flag should be changed to Black because we now depend on one stream of income which is the black oil also know as crude oil,another reason for the colour black is that we have allow a small part of Nigeria create revenue for the whole of Nigeria which is not suppose to be so ,every part of Nigeria was and is suppose to bring their revenue together,this is the only way the bond can be strong but when a part is producing for a whole then something is wrong.
Pa Akinkunmi also selected the white colour to symbolize peace which means if every part of the country create it own revenue there will be peace every where,I believe that is why the white is between the green colours but what do we have today,we have a Nigeria filled with danger as you have to be alert every now and then, we have BokoHaram from the North, Militants from the south,kidnappers from the West,this is not what the colour white on our flag depicts, red is the right colour here,therefore Nigeria would be left with Black and Red,this are the least colours to reckon with.
Black and Red is overshadowing our green and white and if care is not taken it will replace it all.
This is a call to the Federal government to do everything in her power to jealously guide the bond that hold Nigeria,we must retrace our steps and see where will went amiss,we must bring back that love,we must make each part of the country earn it own revenue and stop relying on one part to supply for a whole.
As we Celebrate Nigeria at 56,I hope and pray things get better and God bestow His knowledge on our leaders to lead us right and the same time help them listen to the right advice.
Happy Birthday Nigeria.
God Bless The Federal Republic of Nigeria.
United we Stand.

2015 and 2016 personal budget.

2015 and 2016 personal budget.

these two really varies as there is a wide margin,”the difference is so visible to the deaf and audible to the blind.” (Divinequote 2016)

2015 fictional budget.

1. Food stuff- 30,000 Naira per month
2. Clothing- 10,000 Naira every 3months.
3. Motor Vehicle expenses-7000 Naira per month.
4. Generator fueling- 3000 Naira per night.
5. Electricity bill – depends
6. House Rent- 10,000 Naira per month.
7. Phone/laptop subscription- 7000 Naira per month
8. Recharge card – 1000 Naira per week.
Salary – 150,000 Naira per month.
Loan- nil
Overdraft- nil.
Health status- very ok.
Blood pressure- very ok.
Feeding- balance diet.
Savings- blue.
Mood – Always happy.

2016 fictional budget.

1. Food stuff- 9000 Naira per month
2. Clothing- 1,500 Naira every 3months
3. Motor Vehicle expenses- sold vehicle
4. Generator fueling- sold generator.
5. Electricity bill – disconnected
6. House rent – relocated to a cheap area 1,500 per month.
7. Phone/laptop subscription- sold laptop, 500Naira for phone subscription.
8. Recharge card – 100 Naira per month.thank God for flashing.
Salary – 30,000 Naira per month.
Transportation- 25,000 Naira per Month.
Loan- 70,000 Naira minus interest
Overdraft- 12,000 Naira.
Health status- very very poor.
Blood pressure- High
Feeding- 0-1-0
Savings- Deep Red.
Mood – Always worried.

Remember to vote!

My Experience as a hawker in Lagos.

My Experience as a Road hawker.

I was tired of sitting at home with nothing to show as the reward, I decided to contact my street friend Uche who i really envy because every weekend when he was at home he bounced from earth to heaven and back to earth like a big boy while the small boys like myself in the area looked up to him. On this very day after i had made that determination I went to him “Uche abeg i dey find work,help your guy” I said as if i was praying rubbing my palm over the other. He was silent for some minutes i guessed he was thinking of helping me or not,after what seems like hours he considered me “guy tomorrow na Monday so you go need reach here by 5:00am if i nor see you by that time then forget am.” he said as he picked up his phone to answer a call. “5am bawo” I thought, Me that 5am is the best sleeping hours for but on the other hand i needed money,beggars can’t be choosers,therefore the next day I was at Uche’s house at exactly 4:40am,things we do for money. Getting to his house I met other street big boys as we all started the long ride to our workshop as they say “it is where a man works there he shops that’s why it is called workshop” (pidgin).
After one hour of the drive we got to a popular market in Lagos,before i could say ABC guys were already out of the “danfo”(a yellow Volkswagen bus in Lagos) changing into another cloth,I saw Uche too removing his shirt and slipping on another cloth as i didn’t bring any cloth i just stood still observing,before I could breath in guys were already moving towards their area of specialization collecting their wares into a carton while Uche led me to a woman whom he introduced me to as his brother,the woman took two cartons and filled it with gala,one for me the other for Uche, He led me to where we were to resume,guys were already there running after cars,buses,bikes etc Uche soon join the race while I carried my own portion of the gala like I was new in Lagos. If Nigeria really want to win gold medals in track event then this was the place to picked up raw talent and groom them,they run with skill and zeal,some of them sold more than three cartons a day while I had manage to sell one gala and made a loss of three galas due to all those wicked buyers in vehicles that will pick one gala and drive away and I wasn’t ready to run after them,Uche paid for the loss thinking I was new to the trade.
The next day we were back to the road but sales was not really moving,then Uche received a call on his phone,he ended the call “them say hold up(traffic jam) dey Oshodi o” he told us before I knew what’s up guys were already boarding vehicles with their wares to Oshodi,Uche drew me aside “this place we dey go na danger zone o because them no dey allow us hawk for there once you see any vehicle watch very well before you move close,no dull yourself o” he told me while we boarded our own bus to Oshodi. The hawking soon began while we were happy with the traffic jam people in the bus were visibly angry but that didn’t stop them from buying gala at least to keep their mouth busy. I was lost in the euphoria of making sales when I heard “Ambode boys don arrive o” I saw guys running here and there,then from my part of the road I saw six boys pleading as they were being dragged by their trousers into a bus, I quickly carried my wares and took to my heels. As we return home as guys talked about those that were caught,I knew deep down within me that was my last day with them.

The End.

How I See Rice now.

How I see Rice Now. (Nigeria)

In the past rice use to be like every other food except for those at the village who see it as nothing special as there are other heavy foods like pounded yam,fufu,Eba etc to them rice was meant for those in the city,it was even believed that people in the city eat rice to the extent it could grow as a tree on their head. Especially in Lagos Rice is the number one food,after it comes others ,if you don’t have it at home you are not complete. we eat rice morning,afternoon and night and don’t care if its served for the whole of a year,when you go to a party you anticipate the coming of Jollof Rice which is a compulsory dish at every party because at the mention of Jollof Rice every food must bow.
But what is the situation now?
The situation due to the recession has made rice a scarce commodity in every home,even at a party you hardly get to savour the flavour of Jollof Rice not to talk of eating it. Now rice is so cost you have to plan how you eat it and if you want to make matter worse visit food vendors to buy rice and you will feel like crying.
We see rice as gold due to the sharp increase in it price,it is so sharp it can cut ones hand if care is not taken. Rice that we used to buy for 6000 Naira has now quadrupled and people have to source for cheaper foods but at the moment is there anything like cheap food? Rice is now the golden food.
What is the rate at which you use to eat rice before and how you eat it now?

If Nigeria Men were Banks.

If men were to be represented by Nigeria banks,this is what things will look like.

1. Access Bank – this is a kind of man that gives you access to all he has but not his money,he doesn’t joke with that.
2. Citibank- this is the man that rushes off to the village after being decline by the city big girls,he goes to the village to start catching village girls with his gimmicks “I am a city guy”
3. Diamond Bank- This kind of man thinks money is everything,he will do anything for you such as going into a contract with a network provider just to increase his worth to satisfy you.
4. Ecobank Nigeria – This kind of man is Economical in nature,he wants to know how you spend his money and any act of extravagance you are on your way to your father’s house.
5. Fidelity Bank Nigeria- this kind of man is ready to stay with only you but he is not going to spend much.
6. First Bank of Nigeria- this man believes since he came first into your life,you should always worship him,he lives on his past glory.you hear words like”i was the first man to enter into your heart” eh is it heaven?
7. First City Monument Bank – This kind of man always claim he is the cities ladies number one man and he spends alot.
8. Guaranty Trust Bank- this kind of man will always try to assure you but he at times over does it,he spends little and all his gadget and money safe has a password,he relies on applications alot to do any thing e.g to text his wife he enquires from an application.
9. Heritage Bank Plc.- this kind of man depends on his father’s wealth,he doesn’t really have anything to call his own.
10. Keystone Bank Limited- this kind of man is stone hearted,he believes in over powering other men,he doesn’t joke with the key to his strong room.
11. Skye Bank – this kind of man lives a flashy life despite the fact he is in debt.

12. Stanbic IBTC Bank Nigeria
Limited-this man is classic and he has alot of brothers who are equally rich,he is an half caste and always like to let people know.
13. Standard Chartered Bank- this kind of man rarely goes out,he only does his thing alone,he has alot of external backing.
14. Sterling Bank – this kind of man likes to form team foreign girls,he doesn’t like Nigeria girls.
15. Suntrust Bank Nigeria:this is the kind of man that believes technology can take care of his relationship and as such solely depends on his gadgets and other men close to his wife to talk to her on his behalf.
16. Union Bank of Nigeria- He believes because the president of a country is his Brother he can do anything,he hates spending money.
17. United Bank for Africa-this kind of man will always boast to you about his journey all over Africa,he talks alot,doesn’t not spend too much but still has a password to his safe.
18. Unity Bank Plc-this kind of man will be preaching unity once there is a fight because he solely depend on you.
19. Wema Bank-this kind of man is old school,he is just trying to meet up with modern school,he is cautious of his spendings.
20. Zenith Bank- This kind of man is always on the move,he likes to stay neat,he spends and his always on the look out for money.

Mark Zukerberg in Nigeria.

Mark Zukerberg in Nigeria.
let it be in record that on 30th of
August 2016 ,one of the most
powerful men in the world,7th
billionaire,IT god came to Lagos
Nigeria.

Mark came to Nigeria with Nigerians
not being aware,there was a sense of
joy in the mind of those that know
him.

Alot is spectacular about this young
rich man,
He came to Nigeria like a commoner
unlike some of our fellow Nigerians
who would have few dollars in their
account and start flaunting it here and
there.

Mark is modest,No wrist watch,no
expensive clothing,his appearance is
so modest to the extent if you don’t
know who he is you will just look
down on him.

Mark is humble: He came all the way
to Nigeria to learn where most of the
tech entrepreneur see him as a god
and model even Seun Osewa owner
of the biggest forum in Africa
acknowledged that Mark is an alien.

Mark is free: ever since he reached
Lagos,Mark has been moving freely as
though Nigeria is his home
country,hardly is there any Nigeria
billionaire who can try that even in a
state as peaceful as Lagos.

welcome to Nigeria Mark Zukerberg

What Sundays bring to all.

What Sundays bring to all.

Out of the 7days that makes a week. Sunday has it own special features apart from being just a day. Ironically it bears a name after the Sun which depicts hardwork but it is not so.

The following are the special features that is unique to Sunday.

1. It is a peaceful day: not that other days are not peaceful but Sunday is the most peaceful as everyone and everything is always at peace not like the other days of the week that is always hectic.
2. Visiting day: Here in Nigeria, Sunday is usually used as a day to visit that family member you have seen a long time ago,that friend that’s only free on Sundays etc.
3. Relaxation day: have you noticed you are always feeling lazy to do any strenuous work on Sundays. So sunday is a day to relax and relate properly with your family.
4. Preparation for the week: Sundays are meant to be used as days you use to get prepared for the week,you select those cloth you wished to use for that week on Sunday,you iron them etc. Like they say Preparation is the mother of manifestation, if you don’t prepare for the week on Sunday you are going to be in for a not too good week.
5. Brings out your best beauty: this can be funny but do you know Sundays are the day most people dress to kill especially those going to church,that’s why you will hear some people say it is because i don’t have a New cloth i didn’t go to church.
Sundays bring alot to diverse of people.
What did Sunday bring to you?