This is my fourteenth year with Grandmother,I was placed in her care since only God knows when. Mama as i fondly called her would allow me do nothing all she wanted was for me to be by her side. At six i remembered playing with her sagged breast “Iya Eleko,you have spoilt Omokeyede” her friend seated with her said,Mama didn’t reply as she continue shelling melons while I played on with my new found toy.
Staying with Mama was fun until few months after my fourteenth birthday, Uncle John came to the village saying he was taking me to Lagos which Mama blatantly refused,I came out of my hiding and told uncle I wasn’t going either. He started complaining I was being over pampered and needed to be controlled before it gets out of hands,Mama stood up voicing out angrily,Uncle stood up too his voice loud and clear” Ever since the death of her mother you have refused me custody of my daughter,she even thinks I am her uncle,I want my child,we are leaving in three days time.”He said storming out.
Mama was quiet,I looked from her to Uncle getting into his car “What’s happening?why is uncle calling himself my father? but you said my father died a long time ago!” I asked. Mama drew me near “He is your father”she said. She explained how mother died during delivery,how father had gone ahead to marry another woman whom she thought would maltreat me. The uncle that always come home every three months buying things for me was my father, so it was a charage all these while,I jerked away from her “Mama,why did you lie to me?” I screamed as i ran to the backyard then into the bush to find solace,I heard Mama screaming my name
I was clothed in red and white
swaying here and there in my shoes
dancing to the various Christmas
songs.I was showcasing my dexterity
in various dancing steps when I
stepped on an old woman,i look back
to apologies and saw those eyes
through those big and ancient
spectacles staring at me,if eyes could
emit bullets i would have been shot
dead instanta,”i am sorry ma” i said
under my breath as i moved forward
to dance my sorrow away, “children
of nowadays!” i heard her say to
another older woman sitting by her
i was still displaying a move with my
peers when one of my favourite song
was sang i forgot i was in the house of
the Lord and was Carried away by the
euphoria and didn’t know when i
jump to the front and started
displaying worldly dance step before
the pastor,mind you i never knew he
was the one ,what i noticed at first was
my peers stopped dancing and
started looking at me from afar then i
noticed the song was stopped then
the musical instruments came to a
halt,then sense dawn on me i had pull
off my shirt and was dancing like a
gangster,i looked at everyone then my
eyes met the eyes of the old woman i
stepped on ,she murmured the word
again “children of nowadays” before i
could say “Jesus” i was surrounded by
prayer warriors “Every evil spirit in
your life….” they started praying while
i looked on amazed.what was meant
to be a Christmas carol had
metamorphosised into a Christmas
prayer session. i stared with my eyes
open as i was rounded up by the
mob of prayer warriors,soon it was all
over but i was drag to a new seat near
the grand ma in big glasses as my
friends giggle at the back about my
suppose evil spirit encounter ,i was
gentle all through the carol services
and i stood still, singing with my
crooked voice,then it was time for
Christmas wishes, i was called forward
to make my Christmas wishes,i took
hold of the Mic ,with the anxiety in me
i started thus “i want to wish
everybody a happy Christmas and a
merry new year” i committed the
greatest blunder of the century,my
peers burst into laughter while older
people shook their heads in shame,i
went ahead to complete my line with
“I wished you a prospective new year”
the old woman with big glasses spoke
out again “children of nowadays”
before i could say Jack the pastor and
the prayer warriors had rallied round
me again,”the evil spirit is still there”
the pastor screamed..
Christmas carol turn Christmas prayer
merry Christmas and a prosperous
new year….2017 year of wonders.
It is stated that one of the ways we can get in touch with government is the social media which I decided to use to pass this message across to you. I will like to appreciate the Minister of Works,Mr Raji Fashola for his hardwork in the Ministries he serves,you have always being loved by the masses due to your past achievements. I also appreciate you, Senator Ibikunle Amosun for your good work in Ogun State though this is not my first of writing you and i saw the adjustment few days after I wrote to you. I really commend you sirs.
The purpose of this letter is to make known to you the state of the Lagos Abeokuta road especially from Toll Gate to Sango Ota, the road is so bad a journey of few minutes can be elongated to hours which hinders the flow of movement on this road, Honourable Minister I know the road is a federal road and is not to be left like that because it is the road that links Lagos to Ogun State and I know you are after development,repairing that road will develop a lot because time meant for productive activities are wasted there,lives get lost due to accidents,vehicles get damaged,the worst part is when there is rain one would feel like crying, I am pleading to you Honourable Minister to come to the rescue of the masses that use that road before it totally get out of hand,it will be an achievement the people of Ogun and Lagos will never forget, you can send your staff to inspect the place,I will be expecting a speedy repair of the road.
Governor Ibikunle Amosun, I know you are a caring Governor,I am pleading with you as well to work hand-in-hand with the federal government to get this road done, we want Ogun to be great too which I know his part of your dream.
Thank you as you amend the road.
Today we are going to be dishing out
different types of liers.. Liers are
individuals that do create a scene out
of no scene,here we go:
1. The Creative Liars: God bless this
set of people with creativity but they
decided to use it in a negative way,
imagine someone bulding a house in
the thing air.. They are never in a tight
corner cause there is always one lie
they can concort easily and escape..
2. The Basket Liers: don’t get me
it is not that they carry basket around
o,far from it,these type of people will
lie but it can be easily detected,their
lies always have a leaking spot with
no foundation at all.. immediately they
start spiting out their lies,you already
know within it is a lie from hell and
cannot hold water…
3. The Antagonizing Liers: these set of
people always have a motive for lying
either to bring down someone they so
much hate or damage ones integrity.
You hear them swear by heaven and
earth, “I swear to God who made me
I saw him when he was taking the
money” that’s an example of their
4. White Liers: this set don’t really
want to lie but they find themselves in
a difficult situation which the only
thing to do is to lie to protect a cause..
E.g you are in a club and thieves
forcefully try to garner information
about a friend of yours, but you totally
lied and even deny ever knowing
him.. But come o lie na lie..
Last night I was with my wife and neither of us had dinner, then she turned to me “sweet, bring money lets get something to eat” I looked at her and started stammering “M.M.M”. she looked at me angrily “you think it is by saying em em em like a fish, a man that doesn’t provide for his house will not see PARADISE” I opened my mouth shocked by her utterances “We can GET HELP from our neighbours or will turn to GET HELP from the WORLD.” she looked at me like I spoke French, “Shameless man you can’t join the GIVERS FORUM,you only know how to receive or is Dangote not your mate?”
I smiled at her and said “don’t worry ,I am praying to get a ULTIMATE CYCLER change in my life and I will start doing CHARITY to help people in need but this night we have to go to bed hungry except if you want me to join a ponzi scheme…
Ten ways to win an Election in Nigeria setting.
Political candidates in Nigeria across every level go through alot to garner votes.
1. Discuss with the power that be to know if you are good to go, if they disapprove just “jejely” accept defeat and don’t go and start wasting money because you wouldn’t win but if they approve,you have won halfway.
2. Even if you are proud become humble, start doing things average Nigerians do, like buying meat at Sabo market, eat rice and stew at Iya Risi buka among others and remember to take your photographer along with you.
3. Have an online PR,yes this is the order of the day,Today Nigeria election can determine from the online community,so you have to employ a PR or a team of PRs to manage your online campaign(I can offer the service too o..)
4. Know your strongholds and be sure they are truly your strong holds so its doesn’t turn to be your weak holds on the main day.
5. Always have a punch line for any candidate that tries to fire you. follow the tactics fire for fire(note: only wordplay)
6. Never ever underestimate the other opponents.
7. There are no permanent friends or fiends but permanent interest therefore, don’t trust your friends too much and don’t push your fiends away.
8. Always have a plan B and let it be personal.
9. if you are good with propaganda by all means please use it.
10. Above all be prepared to gift out consumables to the public.
As we all know Christmas is around the corner but the issue is ” will 2016 Christmas be the same as that of 2015? ” from the look of things I bring to you things that might happen this Christmas season.
1. The demand of food will further increase therefore causing a great increase in price, commodity foods like rice will be so exorbitant. Reason for this? as at now the price of food his hitting hard on the income and will even hit harder during festive period. so expect more of “Jollof beans”, “Jollof garri” and the likes.
2. A sharp increase in the price of clothings,it will be so sharp it can cut a finger and spill blood. as we all know Christmas is a period most parent showcase their wealth by buying clothes for their wards guess what there is going to be a difference this year,old clothes will be washed and old shoes polished.
3. High cost of transportation: as at now there have been rumours that there will be a hike in the price of petrol if this should come to reality then expect a increase in price of transportation which means most people are going to stay back in their homes to minimize expenses in few words “no home town travelling”
4. Increase in House rent: if you are the type that lives in rented apartment just be prepared for an increase in House rent especially those that pay yearly. Landlords will want to gain more money.
5. More Chicken will escape death: as funny as it might look like, 2016 will be a blessing to chickens as only a few among them will die while most will live to see 2017. This means expect a sharp increase.
6. use of knock-outs/bangers will minimized because there wouldn’t be wasteful spending.
7. More people will depend on MMM,Paradise and other ponzi schemes for this Christmas celebration.
8. Families will do joint cooking. you will hear “Mr Ade let us contribute money to buy one bag of rice then we share it.”
9. Any religious place of worship that says it will be giving out food on FOC basis(free of charge) will be full to the brim.
10. And most importantly Nigerians will shout Buhari’s name because that is the only thing we are good at,shout,shout and no action.
All the same I wish you a merry Christmas in advance.
Note: pls use 2016 to prepare for 2017..
for now this is the vision I can see..
As we celebrate and rejoice with the HND graduating students,we are call on all ospolites both DPT and full time to vote for the best Department of their choice that graduated in Style.
To the graduating students we wish you the best as you step in to the real life environment. voting starts now and ends after 7days. Thank you!
Only one country in the world uses these colours as its flag in this sequence,there is no country other than Nigeria. Tomorrow, 1st of October Nigeria will clock 56years,it is something to thank God for that the bond still “struggle” to exist despite the diversities. Moving away from the celebration I will be writing on the meaning of the flag colours what it depicts then and now.
Pa Taiwo Akinkunmi, the designer of the Nigeria flag must have come up with series of colour combinations before settling for Green and white, he must have seen that every part of Nigeria was into Agriculture, groundnut from the north,Cocoa from the west, palm oil from the south,all of this symbolizes that Nigeria was deeply rooted in agriculture,it was our revenue earner which means every part of Nigeria created it own revenue, Coming to present day Nigeria I believe the green colours on our flag should be changed to Black because we now depend on one stream of income which is the black oil also know as crude oil,another reason for the colour black is that we have allow a small part of Nigeria create revenue for the whole of Nigeria which is not suppose to be so ,every part of Nigeria was and is suppose to bring their revenue together,this is the only way the bond can be strong but when a part is producing for a whole then something is wrong.
Pa Akinkunmi also selected the white colour to symbolize peace which means if every part of the country create it own revenue there will be peace every where,I believe that is why the white is between the green colours but what do we have today,we have a Nigeria filled with danger as you have to be alert every now and then, we have BokoHaram from the North, Militants from the south,kidnappers from the West,this is not what the colour white on our flag depicts, red is the right colour here,therefore Nigeria would be left with Black and Red,this are the least colours to reckon with.
Black and Red is overshadowing our green and white and if care is not taken it will replace it all.
This is a call to the Federal government to do everything in her power to jealously guide the bond that hold Nigeria,we must retrace our steps and see where will went amiss,we must bring back that love,we must make each part of the country earn it own revenue and stop relying on one part to supply for a whole.
As we Celebrate Nigeria at 56,I hope and pray things get better and God bestow His knowledge on our leaders to lead us right and the same time help them listen to the right advice.
Happy Birthday Nigeria.
God Bless The Federal Republic of Nigeria.
United we Stand.
these two really varies as there is a wide margin,”the difference is so visible to the deaf and audible to the blind.” (Divinequote 2016)
2015 fictional budget.
1. Food stuff- 30,000 Naira per month
2. Clothing- 10,000 Naira every 3months.
3. Motor Vehicle expenses-7000 Naira per month.
4. Generator fueling- 3000 Naira per night.
5. Electricity bill – depends
6. House Rent- 10,000 Naira per month.
7. Phone/laptop subscription- 7000 Naira per month
8. Recharge card – 1000 Naira per week.
Salary – 150,000 Naira per month.
Health status- very ok.
Blood pressure- very ok.
Feeding- balance diet.
Mood – Always happy.
2016 fictional budget.
1. Food stuff- 9000 Naira per month
2. Clothing- 1,500 Naira every 3months
3. Motor Vehicle expenses- sold vehicle
4. Generator fueling- sold generator.
5. Electricity bill – disconnected
6. House rent – relocated to a cheap area 1,500 per month.
7. Phone/laptop subscription- sold laptop, 500Naira for phone subscription.
8. Recharge card – 100 Naira per month.thank God for flashing.
Salary – 30,000 Naira per month.
Transportation- 25,000 Naira per Month.
Loan- 70,000 Naira minus interest
Overdraft- 12,000 Naira.
Health status- very very poor.
Blood pressure- High
Savings- Deep Red.
Mood – Always worried.
Remember to vote!
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